In the roles of the dieticians, I should have written it in the form of a paragraph clearly mentioning all the points. As I had mentioned earlier in my eagerness to mention all the points I forgot about the presentation. This could have gained me more points had I used paragraph model to explain about all the points. The important analysis was the discussions made about communication and its vital importance to the role of the field. This was the purpose of the analysis. This was not mentioned in the introduction sections. This creates the system where the lack of clarity becomes very clear to the reader.
This is the major mistake that has caused me to get a low grade. Even though there was a lot of work that was undertaken for the research of the work, the lack of the presentation and discussion of the facts makes it look like no research has been done. This is the major flaw that needs to be worked in the future. The crucial skills of a health professional are communication. This has not been explained with clarity. I must have written the content in a much clearer manner to make the lay person comprehend about the nuanced differences in the communication. Communication that is effective can be derived when the people involved in the conversation have basic knowledge about the processes and empathy. When a person who is new to a subject reads the subject, the basic aspects of the subject must be clear.
There must have been clarity in the speech and practicing of empathy that dominate the people. The positive outcomes that would be generated in this case are improved overall health of the patient and greater improvement of the processes. The importance of communication would have created a system where all the people would have been benefitted. This is the positive outcome for the other people working with me. From having a good communication skill, I would be better at my job and there would be reduced conflicts or miscommunication in the workplace. These are the important outcome that would have occurred to me from having clear communication. This paragraph needs to be changed and rewritten by me. I would do a better job in the future and these issues would be avoided.
In the next section, there is comparison between general practitioner and medical researcher. I spent a lot of time to make sure all the points were mentioned, but a cohesive flow of the information is not presented. In this enthusiasm of mentioning all the points, the real meaning and efforts taken have been lost in the presentation. I wanted to state that the general practitioner is the first point of contact for the patients. Instead of bullet points, clear language would have been more effective.